My number is 3. Some people call me Tres. My first memories are of cold white walls, steralized steel and the sensation of medically induced weakness. I remember nothing from before my nightmare began; my past was stolen from me. Once I was a little girl. Once I was a whore. Once I was a corpse. Now I am reborn an angel. I am Deus Ex Machina.
I have lived many lives. I have been traded from hand to hand time and time again; a memento of sin and suffering for each new keeper. My parents did not want me. The men who wanted me murdered me. I have been told that I have been given a mirracle; that my second chance is an act of god. I do not think so. The doctors pulled me down from heaven and tore my wings away. Even unwilling, I have taken part in blasphemy. I do not think I will be allowed to return...
So I remain here. With mortals. Their reluctant guardian, one they do not deserve and one they hate and fear. I wonder where I will be and who I will belong to in my next life. Freedom seems so far away...
But life isn't all suffering. This lesson took a long time to learn. Even in dark times there is light, and in the everlasting night of my torment I look forward to bright tomorrows. I am11 12 13 years old, though I do not know my birthday. I'm a panda girl! I look like this:
I change my hair a lot.
I speak English, Spanish, some Japanese and am trying to remember my Chinese. If my writing sux maybe go fuk urself? I dont care. My hobbies include piano, reading, tennis, art (NOT OPEN TO CRITIQUE!!!! ITS MY STYLE!!1!) and video games. I am experimenting with poetry and wuld like to write songs some day! I'm also a
I LIKE:
-anime and japanese culture
-zombies
-cool weapons
-GOOD music (MSI, MCR, Breaking Benjamin, Gorillaz, Linking Park, SOME classical, etc)
-Invader Zim
-computers
-Teh Interwebz.
I HATE:
-pink (makes me feel sick, can't look at it)
-showers
-people
-mirrors (she reminds me)
-being touched by people I don't trust
This is my family! My new family. Its a weird family but its mine. Ninfa:
Misses Ninfa is my handler. She's a Spanish black squirrel with a big bushy tail and smells a little like I do and has a really big kliterus. I don't know what a kliterus is but I heard her say it to her boyfriend Cortez once. I wonder when my kliterus will get big, Mr. Cortez thinks its hot and I think he's kind of hot... Maybe he'll think I'm hot if I make mine bigger. Santi says he's a pedophile so maybe! Can't figure out how though, Ninfa blocked all the sites that tell me. I wouldn't steal herb oyfriend but I understand. She gives me all kinds of nice gifts and lets me play video games. Cool ones. With blood!! She gave me my laptop computer!! She takes me places like the mall and the park sometimes, and most important of all she protects me on our field trips. Once I took a bullet for her in my head and she dragged me out instead of completing the mission. I think Ninfa loves me as much as I love her... I trust her. I want to be her daughter. I think she wants a daughter, she told me she can't have children...
Ninfa is also truthful with me, which is almost more important than being kind. She told me where I came from and what happened to my parents. She says I had other handlers before her but that they were bad influences on me. I still don't know what she meant, I feel like I must have loved some of my previous adults too... I didn't trust her at first because she took away my memories, but she feels very sorry for it promises she won't do it again. I wonder what I was like before she had me conditioned. I hope she loved me then. She tells me that I'm still a person to her and that nothing will change that.
I don't want to forget her...
Santino
This is Santino! Santino is a little gray kitten. He likes to be lazy in the sunlight and take care of plants. He planted a little garden in front of our killhouse and I like to look at it when I go to the range to train. It helps calm me down after excersizes. Santi is my primary squadmate and we spend most of our field trips together. He's a lot better at shooting than me, he likes to use the p90 and the Sig. I should ask if I can trade with him sometime, p90s are cute. I think of him like my little brother but I'm never really sure if he likes me. He can be RUDE AS SHIT and he refuses to understand how different we are from humans. I've told him the reason they're so stupid and weak and evil is because we're angels (duh) but he tells me to shut up and says I'm crazy. He's still important to me and we both know we need to stick together, even if we don't get along all the time. Not just because of our missions, but because other than Tani and Arlo? It's just us. If I didn't have Ninfa or Santi? I would be all alone.
Vynette:
Vynette is *really* my big sister. Vynette doesn't like being a girl, vynette wears a big coat and a hat that covers their entire body. They're a ram from a far away country and we spent a lot of time as girls together doing chores for the adults who bought us. A lot of cooking and cleaning and dish washing for them with the other girls that lived with us. Vynette cares about me a lot, I can see it in her eyes, but she won't talk about any of the things we went through when we were younger. Whatever they were, they were bad enough that I can't call her a her around her because she gets pissed. Its confusing, but I think I get it... I wonder what happened to our other sisters. I like Vynette. Vynette is cool. I only wish I could remember her better so I could feel closer to her. Part of me says not to trust her, but that's stupid. She wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
Victor:
Victor is Santino's handler. He is a monitor lizard. I do not like Mr. Victor. He thinks that without our cybernetics the world is doomed, but his vision of the future scares me. He sees a world where everyone is perfect and where pain is erased just like their bad memories. I don't understand why he thinks that will get rid of everyones pain - it only ever hurt me more to know I didn't know who I was. I think he needs to read some George Orwell or something, but thankfully he doesn't seem like the type to be planning dystopian cities or selective breeding programs. I think he's just crazy and a coward who wants to forget his past. From what I know about him, it wasn't that bad. Not as bad as mine or Ninfa's. Or Uno's. I think he's jealous. I pitty him.
Fillip:
Ninfa says Fillip was my first handler. He's a suave french fox and a super spy. He's really dreamy and I want him to be proud of me, but I kind of like. Understand I was never good enough for him. Even when I tried my hardest. I want him to be proud of me and come visit me like I know he used to, because most of my toys and clothes are from him. Including the sexy ones?? I'm PRETTY SURE the whole 'catholic schoolgirl' thing was -not- my idea. I wish he was proud of me. I know I failed him too many times, and I know Arlo is better than me, but I wish he would just... be my dad...
I think thats why I'm a brat around him. I don't know.
I miss him.
Arlo:
Arlo is a snooty little deer dork. I got his colors wrong but sneaking into the office to scan my drawings at night is a pain in the ass, so fuck you Arlo. We used to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but he broke up with me the day I had my memory erased. I'm pretty sure he did it just to break my heart for something I can't remember. He does things like that a lot. He's the only one who's never had his memory wiped. He waves it in my face. He wonders why I hit him so hard and go for the throat the moment he insults me. None of us really like him but he's one of us. That means something.
I still might kill him though. They can bring him back, it would be fine.
Talisa:
Talisa is really nice to me! She always has a smile and if I'm stressed she'll wrap her scarf around me or hug me. I have to keep asking her for hugs secret, not just because its embarassing and gay, but because Tani gets jealous. I REALLY don't like making Tani mad...
Miss Talisa is nice to talk to. I think Ninfa likes her too. Maybe different than I like her. I saw them kissing in her office once... can girls do that...? That's not gay cus we're girls, right? Maybe they could kiss me too...
Tani:
Tani is complicated. She's very quiet and she's VERY good at laying down suppressive fire and prefers guns that can shred through heavily armored enemies, but she doesn't LIKE to. She hates it, actually. It bothered me at first but now that I'm used to it I think it's pretty fun. Tani cries all night if she has to go on a lethal force mission... and its usually because we screwed up. I don't like stressing her out. I hurt her enough. I hurt her really bad once. We came home from a pianno recital and it was the first time I was ever happy. Tani wanted to escape and she tried to kill everyone to get out. I had to cut off her arm or she'd kill the grownups. I wish I let her shoot us instead. She doesn't deserve this place. I'm glad she doesn't remember. I almost wish I didn't.
Comissaria:
This is our boss. She's a bitter cunt.
Eladio:
I don't like the pink man. He's a doofus. He drives us to missions. I think he likes me but its hard to look at him.
Roquel:
Mother Roquel is the reason we are here. She took us from the grave and like cold clay molded us. She breathed new life into our lungs and restored warmth to our pale cheeks. She is a servant of god, like us. That is what she believes. I believe she has tampered in matters she does not truly understand. Perverted and corrupted God's creation in his name and sentenced the innocent to a fresh hell. Started the world on a course from which it will never recover, and which will end in armagedden. She is a divine fool. She, like all mortals, all humans, will suffer for her arrogance.
Uno: I never met Uno.
I've heard her name sometimes, but she's a secret. Even more of a secret than everything else. Santino and Vynette found out a lot about her. She was the first angel. They gave her EVERY cybernetic enhacement. She worked alone and was really, REALLY strong and powerful and cool. Mr. Eladio says she liked the same music as me? I wonder if we would have been friends... or more... Santino says she killed a lot of civilians and then herself on her final mission. Sometimes I think they deserve it, but... maybe not all of them. There must be more people like Senora Ninfa. Even if I've never met them. I think she must still be in the lab. Deep down in the wings we aren't allowed in. Floating in tubes and jars and being studied. I wonder if they gave us some of her cybernetics, like handmedowns. Some girls wear their older sister's clothes. What if I have my older sister's eyes?
We live in a big vila in the countryside but I don't think I'm allowed to say where.
But life isn't all suffering. This lesson took a long time to learn. Even in dark times there is light, and in the everlasting night of my torment I look forward to bright tomorrows. I am
I change my hair a lot.
I speak English, Spanish, some Japanese and am trying to remember my Chinese. If my writing sux maybe go fuk urself? I dont care. My hobbies include piano, reading, tennis, art (NOT OPEN TO CRITIQUE!!!! ITS MY STYLE!!1!) and video games. I am experimenting with poetry and wuld like to write songs some day! I'm also a
L̷̢̻̭̀͂͘3̷̭̼͈͋̚͝3̴͇́͘͠T̴̡̗͚̋͊̚ͅ ̶̛̼͒̓H̷̳͗Ḁ̷͓̞̗̾͝X̷̖̂͌̅̆X̶̭̖̏͂̐0̴̢̲͎̅́Ř̶̹͔̓͌̍
so dnt mess w me 0r I'ma balete @ll ur pron!!!I LIKE:
-anime and japanese culture
-zombies
-cool weapons
-GOOD music (MSI, MCR, Breaking Benjamin, Gorillaz, Linking Park, SOME classical, etc)
-Invader Zim
-computers
-Teh Interwebz.
I HATE:
-pink (makes me feel sick, can't look at it)
-showers
-people
-mirrors (she reminds me)
-being touched by people I don't trust
This is my family! My new family. Its a weird family but its mine. Ninfa:
Misses Ninfa is my handler. She's a Spanish black squirrel with a big bushy tail and smells a little like I do and has a really big kliterus. I don't know what a kliterus is but I heard her say it to her boyfriend Cortez once. I wonder when my kliterus will get big, Mr. Cortez thinks its hot and I think he's kind of hot... Maybe he'll think I'm hot if I make mine bigger. Santi says he's a pedophile so maybe! Can't figure out how though, Ninfa blocked all the sites that tell me. I wouldn't steal herb oyfriend but I understand. She gives me all kinds of nice gifts and lets me play video games. Cool ones. With blood!! She gave me my laptop computer!! She takes me places like the mall and the park sometimes, and most important of all she protects me on our field trips. Once I took a bullet for her in my head and she dragged me out instead of completing the mission. I think Ninfa loves me as much as I love her... I trust her. I want to be her daughter. I think she wants a daughter, she told me she can't have children...
Ninfa is also truthful with me, which is almost more important than being kind. She told me where I came from and what happened to my parents. She says I had other handlers before her but that they were bad influences on me. I still don't know what she meant, I feel like I must have loved some of my previous adults too... I didn't trust her at first because she took away my memories, but she feels very sorry for it promises she won't do it again. I wonder what I was like before she had me conditioned. I hope she loved me then. She tells me that I'm still a person to her and that nothing will change that.
I don't want to forget her...
Santino
This is Santino! Santino is a little gray kitten. He likes to be lazy in the sunlight and take care of plants. He planted a little garden in front of our killhouse and I like to look at it when I go to the range to train. It helps calm me down after excersizes. Santi is my primary squadmate and we spend most of our field trips together. He's a lot better at shooting than me, he likes to use the p90 and the Sig. I should ask if I can trade with him sometime, p90s are cute. I think of him like my little brother but I'm never really sure if he likes me. He can be RUDE AS SHIT and he refuses to understand how different we are from humans. I've told him the reason they're so stupid and weak and evil is because we're angels (duh) but he tells me to shut up and says I'm crazy. He's still important to me and we both know we need to stick together, even if we don't get along all the time. Not just because of our missions, but because other than Tani and Arlo? It's just us. If I didn't have Ninfa or Santi? I would be all alone.
Vynette:
Vynette is *really* my big sister. Vynette doesn't like being a girl, vynette wears a big coat and a hat that covers their entire body. They're a ram from a far away country and we spent a lot of time as girls together doing chores for the adults who bought us. A lot of cooking and cleaning and dish washing for them with the other girls that lived with us. Vynette cares about me a lot, I can see it in her eyes, but she won't talk about any of the things we went through when we were younger. Whatever they were, they were bad enough that I can't call her a her around her because she gets pissed. Its confusing, but I think I get it... I wonder what happened to our other sisters. I like Vynette. Vynette is cool. I only wish I could remember her better so I could feel closer to her. Part of me says not to trust her, but that's stupid. She wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
Victor:
Victor is Santino's handler. He is a monitor lizard. I do not like Mr. Victor. He thinks that without our cybernetics the world is doomed, but his vision of the future scares me. He sees a world where everyone is perfect and where pain is erased just like their bad memories. I don't understand why he thinks that will get rid of everyones pain - it only ever hurt me more to know I didn't know who I was. I think he needs to read some George Orwell or something, but thankfully he doesn't seem like the type to be planning dystopian cities or selective breeding programs. I think he's just crazy and a coward who wants to forget his past. From what I know about him, it wasn't that bad. Not as bad as mine or Ninfa's. Or Uno's. I think he's jealous. I pitty him.
Fillip:
Ninfa says Fillip was my first handler. He's a suave french fox and a super spy. He's really dreamy and I want him to be proud of me, but I kind of like. Understand I was never good enough for him. Even when I tried my hardest. I want him to be proud of me and come visit me like I know he used to, because most of my toys and clothes are from him. Including the sexy ones?? I'm PRETTY SURE the whole 'catholic schoolgirl' thing was -not- my idea. I wish he was proud of me. I know I failed him too many times, and I know Arlo is better than me, but I wish he would just... be my dad...
I think thats why I'm a brat around him. I don't know.
I miss him.
Arlo:
Arlo is a snooty little deer dork. I got his colors wrong but sneaking into the office to scan my drawings at night is a pain in the ass, so fuck you Arlo. We used to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but he broke up with me the day I had my memory erased. I'm pretty sure he did it just to break my heart for something I can't remember. He does things like that a lot. He's the only one who's never had his memory wiped. He waves it in my face. He wonders why I hit him so hard and go for the throat the moment he insults me. None of us really like him but he's one of us. That means something.
I still might kill him though. They can bring him back, it would be fine.
Talisa:
Talisa is really nice to me! She always has a smile and if I'm stressed she'll wrap her scarf around me or hug me. I have to keep asking her for hugs secret, not just because its embarassing and gay, but because Tani gets jealous. I REALLY don't like making Tani mad...
Miss Talisa is nice to talk to. I think Ninfa likes her too. Maybe different than I like her. I saw them kissing in her office once... can girls do that...? That's not gay cus we're girls, right? Maybe they could kiss me too...
Tani:
Tani is complicated. She's very quiet and she's VERY good at laying down suppressive fire and prefers guns that can shred through heavily armored enemies, but she doesn't LIKE to. She hates it, actually. It bothered me at first but now that I'm used to it I think it's pretty fun. Tani cries all night if she has to go on a lethal force mission... and its usually because we screwed up. I don't like stressing her out. I hurt her enough. I hurt her really bad once. We came home from a pianno recital and it was the first time I was ever happy. Tani wanted to escape and she tried to kill everyone to get out. I had to cut off her arm or she'd kill the grownups. I wish I let her shoot us instead. She doesn't deserve this place. I'm glad she doesn't remember. I almost wish I didn't.
Comissaria:
This is our boss. She's a bitter cunt.
Eladio:
I don't like the pink man. He's a doofus. He drives us to missions. I think he likes me but its hard to look at him.
Roquel:
Mother Roquel is the reason we are here. She took us from the grave and like cold clay molded us. She breathed new life into our lungs and restored warmth to our pale cheeks. She is a servant of god, like us. That is what she believes. I believe she has tampered in matters she does not truly understand. Perverted and corrupted God's creation in his name and sentenced the innocent to a fresh hell. Started the world on a course from which it will never recover, and which will end in armagedden. She is a divine fool. She, like all mortals, all humans, will suffer for her arrogance.
Uno: I never met Uno.
I've heard her name sometimes, but she's a secret. Even more of a secret than everything else. Santino and Vynette found out a lot about her. She was the first angel. They gave her EVERY cybernetic enhacement. She worked alone and was really, REALLY strong and powerful and cool. Mr. Eladio says she liked the same music as me? I wonder if we would have been friends... or more... Santino says she killed a lot of civilians and then herself on her final mission. Sometimes I think they deserve it, but... maybe not all of them. There must be more people like Senora Ninfa. Even if I've never met them. I think she must still be in the lab. Deep down in the wings we aren't allowed in. Floating in tubes and jars and being studied. I wonder if they gave us some of her cybernetics, like handmedowns. Some girls wear their older sister's clothes. What if I have my older sister's eyes?
We live in a big vila in the countryside but I don't think I'm allowed to say where.